3 Steps to show up and BE your best self

The fact that you are reading this article means that you are curious how to be your best self. So, let’s first understand what it means to be your best self, and this definition will differ from person to person, however in a generalised essence it means to be whole and complete within yourself. When you feel this way, you will possess characteristics such as, but not limited to:

• Unshakeable confidence

• High self worth

• Healthy self esteem

• Fiercely authentic

• Self sufficient

• Self validated

• Peace

• Calm

You were born with these innate inherent qualities, however somewhere between the ages of 0-7 years of age you developed a set of self limiting beliefs that you took as factual truth (which it is not), and it took you away from this truth, or your best self.

So your best self is not something you are searching for, it is who you are now, you just have a set of limiting beliefs or otherwise known as blocks that is keeping you from being your best and truest self.

These limiting beliefs form the basis of our thoughts, feelings, behaviours which directly impacts our current state of reality, therefore to solely work on the basis of changing behaviours is a futile exercise IF you are looking for long term sustainable permanent change.

In order to BE our best self in every aspect of our life, be it a mother, wife, sister, CEO, employee, friend or just YOU, we need to identify what the limiting blocks in mind are that are preventing you from showing up as best authentic self in every aspect of life.

The 3 Steps to show up as best authentic self:

1. Identify what is in the way, what self limiting beliefs, thoughts or behaviours are blocking you from being your best self

2. Transcend these limiting blocks via healing practices such radical self acceptance and forgiveness

3. Choose again in alignment with you are at your core essence, i.e. deliberately decide to BE and act differently.

Doing this is a continuous process using what shows up in life for us as a diagnostic tool to where we are not being our best self. It requires patience, self compassion, but most of all GRIT. The grand prize on the table is of enormous proportions, therefore it stands to reason that there will be some bumps in the road.

If you are keen to start not only BEING your best self, but also showing up as your best self in each and every aspect of your life, then why not reach out for a quick 20 min chat to identify whether any of my coaching packages are a good fit for you.

Chantal is an Accredited and Certified Nutrition & Wellness Coach, EFT & NLP Practitioner that helps empower and inspire mums and women just like you to lovingly nourish and nurture their body and mind so that they can show up as the VERY best version of them self, authentically, on purpose and by design.

Lets talk motivation

As  a coach it is not my job to  motivate you, but I can help you find the motivation that resides inside you.

“You’ll see it when you believe it” - Wayne Dwyer

Our beliefs are shaping our thoughts, which activate feelings which informs our actions that ultimately results in the CURRENT REALITY. So it stands to reason that we cannot just make change at the behaviour/ action/doing level because what is underpinning that is the BELIEF.

If you hear me bang on enough, you will know that I always talk about the ROOT CAUSE, in this case the root cause is the belief. Action level is still symptom management and a very surface level approach with short term results.

 Quite often it is not about needing more information, because you already know what you should be doing, but not doing it. The information just sparks off motivation to get you started, but does not seal the deal for in terms of a long term change.

You have to ask yourself, where is the motivation for change coming from? Is it fear based or development based?

So what is it that motivates us?

There are 2 types of fear based motivation:

1. Deficiency based, aka lack.

   • This type of motivation shows up in ‘SHOULDs’. I should exercise today, I should eat this broccoli. The person is not doing the ‘right action’ because they truly want to do it, but because an external source of pressure says do it.

2. Threat based

   • This type of motivation can propel us to action because of known, unknown threats, illness avoidance or environmental threats. It is my observation that this is more post people operate from.

@dnevozhai

Quite often with this type of fear based motivation, it may get you started but does not stack up in terms of long term sustainable change. The challenge will always be to continue to behave in the ‘healthier new way’.

Someone will usually begin wellness coaching with someone because they tried the ‘solo’ route many times and have been unsuccessful.

What if we took a different perspective and looked at development based motivation?

Development based motivation is really aimed at personal growth and is based on Maslow’s hierarchy of needs with the view that all of us have a need to actualise our potential.

“One can choose to go toward safety or forward towards growth. Growth must be chosen again and again, fear must be overcome again and again” - Abraham Maslow

Jay Kimiecik, author of the book “The Intrinsic Exerciser” says that some of best motivation comes from within. It is an outer expression of an inner motivation, the internal drive to be more of who we truly are.

 Another view point for motivation is where is it coming from, Love or Fear?

Truly ask, where is the motivation coming from? One based on love is more than likely going to lead to the long term sustainable change you were after and provide a sense of accomplishment, self confidence and self esteem. Motivation based on fear will keep you stuck on the never ending cycle of starting and never finishing, otherwise known as lack and limitation.

 Overall summary for motivation:

• It is either fear based on development based

• There are 2 types of fear based motivation:

  • Deficiency

  • Threat

• Fear based motivation gets you started, but is not sustainable for long term change

• Development based motivation is based on personal growth, love and self-actualisation

In essence the question to ask yourself is, “Where is my motivation coming from?” and “Can I achieve this alone?”

If you are sick and tired of the solo journey and ready to get results fast, then email me on info@chantalkhoury.com.au for a FREE chat.

If you want to carry on the conversation and start your health transformation journey, then join me in the FB Group, Empowered Mums. Just click the link below:

Chantal is a Certified & Accredited Nutrition & Wellness Coach on a mission to empower mothers and women to show up as the best version of themselves physically and mentally so that they can empower the next generation with health and resiliency. She has a special interest in healing nutrition and mindset transformation.

Educate and Inspire vs Diagnose and Treat - the role of coaching

In the conventional medical health model, it is typically all about prescribe and treat, otherwise known as let’s look at what is wrong with you and treat that in isolation. This does not leave the patient in a very empowered position.

Let’s be clear, modern medicine is nothing short of being genius when it comes to acute conditions and emergency situations, but does very little from a preventative approach.

So whilst medicine appears to be very physiological, the success rate is often determined by the psychological aspects. In the field of behavioural medicine , there is an understanding that nothing is physiological, but psycho-physiological instead. In simple terms this means that there is no separation between a persons mind and body. They work together and impact each other, therefore you cannot look at any symptom in isolation.

This is where wellness coaching becomes golden, it is focused to look at the person as a whole from a holistic approach to induce positive behaviour change to achieve a desired health outcome.

We are in an age where it is not enough to just know information, you need to act on it.

How do we make this action happen is the jackpot question?

According to Integrative and Functional Medicine, much if not most of health comes down to lifestyle behavioural change from a holistic point of view.

This is realms of health and wellness coaching, it is there to not only educate in a specialised area, but to also inspire and support the growth and development of the client. Coaching is seen to be standing by the client, with them and next to them, so eloquently explained by Michael Arloski as mountain guides. The mountain guides do not climb the mountain for people, but instead help them by:

@charlotemsk

• Planning the climb

• Assessing the physical and mental readiness to climb

• Examining whether the climber is equipped with the right tools to climb

• Together plan the best route

• Does not force the climber to climb the mountain, the motivation to climb must come from the climber

• At times when the climber is discouraged, the guides gently supports the climber to reach a little deeper and keep going

A health and wellness coach is like a good mountain guide that is providing you support and accountability.

Whilst it may seem like the ‘action’ that is needed is simple, yet you struggle to do what you know you should be and then you beat yourself up about it! You will be pleased to know that none of it is your fault, but has everything to do with how your mind is currently wired in terms your beliefs, thoughts and feelings which are informing your actions. Trying to make any sort of long term sustaining change is next to impossible without examining this aspect.

Join me inside the Empowered Mums Group where I dive into this much more along side the right actions to take at the root cause level.

Chantal is a Certified & Accredited Nutrition and Wellness Coach on a mission to help stressed and overwhelmed mums transform their physical and mental health so that they feel energised, confident and calm to build a thriving resilient healthy happy family.